May 30, 2011

She's not that into you

Excuses and tactics I have observed from coaches trying to get you to quit:

Phoning in the lesson
That is, on the phone during the lesson.

Rough night?
Runs in at last second for early morning lesson, still in pj's with unbrushed hair.

Oh, I thought we had decided on Thursday!
Five weeks in a row?

Oh, we don't need a regular schedule
Because then I wouldn't have an excuse for not showing

She's not ready to test
For a year. Because I never teach her the test.

Gmail sucks
No it doesn't. Neither does yahoo, webmail, outlook or any other computer program. She's labeled your IP as spam.

T-Mobile drops so many calls
Especially when you're screening them to avoid answering that particular person.

All my students skate 25 hours a week, and if you can't handle that you're a bad mom
Paraphrased, but not by much

Oh, music? oh, competition deadline? What? New skates?
You mean you think the coach should be thinking about these things?

I teach all my students in groups
And then pay attention only to some of them.

Did that coach's accent just get stronger?
Hard to take a lesson from someone you can't understand

What's the best excuse you've heard for dropping a student?


  1. Why would a coach want a student to quit? I think it is quite stupid. A few years back we were shopping a rink that really discuraged us from taking privates as they are "only interested in students who are serious in competiting". We were interested in recreational. Well when the economy sank in 08, the coaches were begging for students, even mine. The owners of the rink sold so now it is under new management. But guess what, when a parent tells me they want to try out that rink, I tell them the treatment I had and so far none of them have switched there. The students/parents are the consumers and if they are treated as badly as this posts says, well that coach/rink should not be in business.

  2. Why coaches want to drop skaters? Maybe to take on someone else for a popular time slot or to focus on competitive students? Frequent student no-show, billing problems, schedule change, personality conflict...

    Or the coach is unable to progress further with the student, maybe the skater hit the wall or becomes too advanced for the coach? I wonder if some feel a stagnating student damages the coach's technical reputation when compared to other coaches with fast-developing students?

    Either way, changes do happen in any coach-student relationship and a professional coach will handle things in a much smoother way. Some never pick up enough maturity to act responsibly though, deal with it or run run run away.

  3. I would think a coach would be more professional, after all this is thier business, even as a side gig, it is the consumer that is doing the hiring. And trust me an unhappy consumer is a lot louder than a happy one.

  4. But sometimes a baffled consumer just quietly goes away without the chicken-coach having to confront them.

  5. Now we know what to watch for Xan :)

    If you ever develop an accent we'll start to worry.

  6. ok, I think that may have happened to one of the girls at the rink, but the baffled consumer (mom) voiced her displeasure about the coach to so many people that the coach has only 1 of those regular students left...a small crop of new students, but no where near (yet) what she had before.

  7. just me: Vat eggsent
    Anon: ah, one of those rare instances of justice!

  8. jjane45, I have that exact worry (re: stagnating student). I have muscle/coordination problems so I improve really slowly and worry that people will judge my coach on that. What they can't see is that she's a wonderful coach and she's making me better at skating than I have ever been at any physical activity, which is also improving my posture and fitness in everyday life.