Just as actors must never utter word "MacBeth," you should never invoke the name of this mother, to dampen her power. This mother will move through the stands from mom to mom, like a bacterium infecting as many cells as she can reach, trashing the skater, the partner, the coach, the judge, the costume, or whatever she thinks she can get away with trashing. Every male skater should be skating with her daughter instead of that slut/import/no-talent/idiot.
She will keep this up even after her daughter is done with skating. No, not done with the session--Done. With skating. Gone. Like, to college.
The Skating Mom Who Will Haunt Your Dreams
This woman is the one who so traumatizes neophyte skaters and moms that they take up lacemaking instead. Every accomplishment your skater makes, her skater did "last year." She'll tell you, just before your daughter goes on the ice to secure her spot at Nationals that "you have no idea what you're getting into" but "don't worry, it's not like she's really a national-level skater because the field is so weak."
She will never leave the Club leadership. She will be there until she's old and gray. After her skater has grown, married, and moved to another state.
What she doesn't know is all the dirt everyone has on her from her daughter's former coach.
The Practice Ice Monitor from Hell
You know her. She screams incomprehensible instructions into the mike, or from the door, ignores music call protocols, and allows her daughter to break the rules with impunity, while immediately calling the police on everyone else for the mildest infraction. Do not try to get past her without turning in your coupon or signing the check-in sheet.
"I Built Costumes for La Scala"
So if the one I made for you doesn't fit, that is clearly a problem with your body.
My Daughter Can Do No Wrong
Getting drunk at dress rehearsal? Someone else's fault. (Zero tolerance? What's zero tolerance? That's for kids with no talent.) Spreading career-ending rumors about a coach? Youthful hi-jinx. Even the daughter landing in jail instead of college will not diminish this woman's conviction (haha) or her daughter's that another skater somehow set the whole ball rolling by friending her on Facebook, just to spy.
I'm Not One of THOSE Mothers
Yes. Yes you are. You are shouting instructions from the door, complaining to the monitor that no one is watching out for Princess, stealing soakers from competitors bags or ripping dresses, trashing the moms/skaters who missed the session to the ones who are there (and then trashing THEM in turn), signing your daughter up for the prestige club in Sugarland even though you live in Duluth, scotching the rink's shot at being featured in a national ad campaign because you're afraid "it will hurt Princess' eligibility" (mind you, Princess is 6 and has not competed yet, nor is she actually featured in the campaign) and letting the mayor know what solo you expect Princess to have in the ice show for the next 4 years, or you're pulling your campaign contribution.
Who haunts your dreams?